Romeo and Juliet
by The Red Wolf
Summary: The great tragedy Romeo and Juliet put in our modern words. Well, more modern words. I left all the vulgar parts in. For those who liked the concept of Romeo and Juliet, but the language barrier ruined it for you, give this a try. *INCOMPLETE*
1. Prologue

**Romeo and Juliet  
  
PROLOGUE:**

**Chorus. **  
There were two families, who had about the same amount of cash,  
Both lived in Verona, where this play takes place.  
From their old grudge a new fight starts.  
These two families had two kids.  
Their two kids grew up and hooked up only to commit suicide  
And thus break their parents' grudge  
The terrible story of their love  
And the continuance of their parents' feud,  
The feud that could only be ended by their children's deaths could end,  
Is now the plot of this play.  
If you don't quite understand Shakespeare's version  
I have worked to make all things clear, minus the rhyme.  



	2. Cast of Characters

**Romeo and Juliet  
  
CAST:**

**The Montagues:  
**Lord Montague  
Lady Montague  
Romeo, son of Montague  
Benvolio, nephew of Montague  
Balthasar, servant of Montague  
Abraham, servant of Montague

**The Capulets:  
**Lord Capulet  
Lady Capulet  
Juliet, daughter of Capulet  
Tybalt, nephew of Lady Capulet  
Nurse to Juliet  
Peter, servant to the Nurse  
Sampson, servant of Capulet  
Gregory, servant of Capulet  
An Old Man of the Capulet family

Prince Escalus, ruler of Verona  
Mercutio, kinsman of the Prince and friend of Romeo  
Friar Laurence, a Franciscan priest  
Friar John, another Franciscan priest  
Count Paris, a young nobleman, kinsman to the prince  
An Apothecary  
Page to Paris  
Chief Watchman  
Three Musicians  
An officer


	3. Act 1: Scene 1

**Romeo and Juliet  
  
ACT 1: SCENE ONE:**

**[Verona, a city in Italy. Sampson and Gregory are standing in a public area, armed with their weapons]**

**Sampson. **  
Gregory, we can't bear insults.

**Gregory. **  
You're right. We simply can't!

**Sampson. **  
If we're angry, we'll fight!

**Gregory. **  
Yeah, while you live, live life to the fullest!

**Sampson. **  
I draw quickly if I'm angered.

**Gregory. **  
But you aren't easily made angry.

**Sampson. **  
Those losers called Montagues anger me.

**Gregory. **  
The fight is between our masters. We're only servants.

**Sampson. **  
Same thing. I'll show them I'm powerful.

**Gregory. **  
Draw your sword! Here come the Montagues!

**[Enter Abraham and Balthasar]**

**Sampson. **  
My sword is out. Argue with them. I'm right behind you.

**Gregory. **  
Yeah, right! You'll probably run!

**Sampson. **  
Trust me!

**Gregory. **  
Trust you?!

**Sampson. **  
Let's let the law favor us. Make them start the fight.

**Gregory. **  
I'll make faces at them as they go past us and let them take it as they will.

**Sampson. **  
No, I'll flip them off.

**Abraham. **  
Do you flip us off, sir?

**Sampson. **  
I have my middle finger raised, sir.

**Abraham. **  
Do you flip _us_ off, sir?

**Sampson. **  
**[whispering to Gregory]** Is the law on our side if I say yes?

**Gregory. **  
No.

**Sampson. **  
No, sir, I'm not flipping you off, sir; but I have my middle finger raised, sir.

**Gregory. **  
Do you want to fight, sir?

**Abraham. **  
Fight, sir?! No, sir.

**Sampson. **  
I don't blame you if you do, sir. I'm ready for a fight if you are. I'm as good as you.

**Abraham. **  
No better than me, though.

**Sampson. **  
Well, sir...

**[Enter Benvolio]**

**Gregory. **  
**[whispering to Sampson] **Say that you're better than him. Here comes Benvolio! He'll help us in a fight!

**Sampson. **  
Well, sir, I am better, sir.

**Abraham. **  
Liar.

**Sampson. **  
Draw your weapons if you be men! Gregory, your sword!

**[They fight]**

**Bevolio.  
**Stop fighting, you idiots! Put away your swords! **[tries to knock their swords from their hands with his own] **You don't know what you're doing!

**[Enter Tybalt with his sword out]**

**Tybalt. **  
Benvolio, you drew your sword on these lowly servants? Get ready to die, Benvolio.

**Benvolio. **  
I'm only keeping the peace, Tybalt! Put away your sword or help me.

**Tybalt. **  
What? You have your sword out and you're talking about peace?! I hate peace as much as I hate Hell. I hate all Montagues and your fucking guts! Fight, coward!

**[They fight]**

**[Enter several people of both families, who join the fight. Citizens and Peace Officers then enter, too]**

**First Officer.  
**Make them drop their weapons! Down with the Montagues! Down with the Capulets!

**[Enter Old Capulet in his pajamas and Lady Capulet]**

**Capulet.  
**What is this? Bring me my sword!

**Lady Capulet.  
**A sword? What does an old man like you need a sword for? What you need is a crutch!

**Capulet.  
**My sword! That villain Montague is here and mocks me by starting fights!

**[Enter Old Montague and Lady Montague]**

**Montague.  
**Damn you Capulet! Don't stop me! Let me fight!

**Lady Montague.   
**You won't go over there just to make enemies!

**[Enter Prince Escalus with his Attendants At first no one pays attention to him]**

**Prince Escalus.  
**Rebellious citizens! You've killed your neighbors before and still you fight! Capulet and Montague you seem to always be the ones who begin these fights. Capulet, I want you to come with me so I can talk to you. Montague, you'll come to my place later. The rest of you, leave! If you don't stop this fighting and leave this place I shall have you killed!

**[Everyone but Montague, Lady Montague, and Benvolio exit]**

**Montague.  
**Benvolio, who started this fight?

**Benvolio.  
**When I came your servants and Capulet's were fighting. I drew my sword to make them stop, but Tybalt with his sword showed up and insulted me. We began to fight and that's when the prince showed up.

**Lady Montague.   
**Have you seen Romeo? I'm relieved he wasn't at this fight.

**Benvolio.  
**About an hour before the sun rose I decided to take a walk to clear my head. I saw Romeo by some trees. he knew I was there, but he hid from me. I figured that if he didn't want to talk I wouldn't force him.

**Montague.   
**He's been seen there a lot lately. People say he looks as if he was crying.

**Benvolio.  
**Do you know why he's sad?  
  
**Montague.  
**He wouldn't tell me when I asked.

**Benvolio.  
**Have you asked him more than once?  
  
**Montague.  
**Not only have I asked several times, but so have his friends. I wish he'd tell us...

**[Enter a depressed Romeo]**

**Benvolio.  
**Here he comes. Leave and I'll talk to him. He'll tell me what's wrong.

**Montague.  
**I'd do anything to find out what's making him sad. Come on, Honey, let's go.

**[Exit Montague and Lady Montague]**

**Benvolio. **  
Good morning, Cuz.

**Romeo. **  
Is it that early?

**Benvolio.   
**It's only nine.

**Romeo. **  
When you're sad time seems so slow... Was that my father who just left?

**Benvolio.   
**Yeah. Why are you so sad, Romeo?

**Romeo.  
**I don't have what I want.

**Benvolio.  
**Are you in love?

**Romeo.  
**Out.

**Benvolio.   
**Out of love?

**Romeo. **  
Out of her favor. I love her, but she doesn't know I exist! 

**Benvolio.   
**Poor you. Everyone says love is sweet and gentle, but it's been rough with you.

**Romeo.  
**Love is always blind! How can love, without eyes, see where to go and who to infect? Was there a fight? Don't bother telling me, I already know. So much hate in this world...but there's so much love. O fighting love! O loving hate! O heavy lightness! Serious pride! Will you laugh at my words?

**Benvolio.  
**No, I'd rather cry.

**Romeo. **  
Cry for what?

**Benvolio.   
**For the sadness in your heart.

**Romeo. **  
Why? It's love's sin. See you later, Cuz.

**Benvolio.   
**Wait! I'll go with you. If you left me that would be rather cruel.

**Romeo. **  
Please. I am not Romeo. How can Romeo leave you when he's not here? I'm lost and not myself.

**Benvolio.   
**Tell me who you love, Romeo.

**Romeo. **  
Shall I grown as I tell you?

**Benvolio.   
**Groan? No. But tell me!

**Romeo. **  
Okay, get off my back. I do love a woman.

**Benvolio.   
**I knew it!

**Romeo. **  
Yeah, you were. She's beautiful. She's cold. She won't listen to the words of love. She avoids lovers' eyes. She's so cold and chastity bent she wouldn't even spread her legs for money! The saddest thing is that with her death, her beauty also dies, because she'll have no children.

**Benvolio.   
**Listen to me. Forget her!

**Romeo. **  
Teach me how I should forget to think!

**Benvolio.   
**Easy. You'll forget her by watching other girls. 

**Romeo. **  
You could never find someone more beautiful than my woman. See ya. You can't teach me to forget.

**Benvolio.   
**I'll take that bet.

**[All exit]**


End file.
